Spankin' Stories

Iain (4-year old on the team) is often asking us to tell him a Spankin' Story.  We, of course, quickly ran out of true stories, so he started to ask us for make-believe spanking stories.

If you need a good laugh, go listen to Bridget's make-believe spanking story.  I'm serious...go.
Iain's Thoughts - A Blog

One of my make-believe spanking stories ended up having a "spanking chair" in it.  This chair re-appeared in many stories thereafter. In fact, Iain liked it so much that he drew a picture...or two.

Look closely - he drew a "bottom" on the chair.

I will leave you with one of the real (or maybe not so real) spanking stories...

When I was young, my brothers treated me harshly.  They would laugh at me, knock me over, and pull my hair.  However, I would love them and say kind things to them.  One day, my brothers were being especially mean and they knocked me over and laughed at me.  My mom caught them and threatened to give them a spanking.

BUT...

Before mom could spank them, I stood in front of her and said, "Mother, please do not spank them!  I forgive them."  So she didn't spank them and they loved me forever.

Steven's ending to my story: ...and Lizzie said, "No!  I'll take their spankings!"
Ben's ending to my story: ...and Lizzie said, "No! I'll be their propitiation."

It was a long time ago...I can't remember all the details.  :-)

Colorful Words

They're back! 

The students are flooding back to campus bringing life and activity again!  Tonight, we had a great time catching up and laughing with a couple of them.

Somehow the conversation led to the fact that Orange is not my favorite color contrary to all the orange evidence in my life (Thank you ExactTarget).

Below is the rest of the conversation:

Troy: Well, what is your favorite color?
Me: Hmmmm maybe blue.  What is your favorite color?
Troy:  Hmmm…maybe it is hard to describe.  Maybe yellow.  But, I mean the yellow that you see when the sun is rising and it shines through the green leaves in the trees and hits the grass that sparkles with the morning blue.  That yellow.  It is so hard to describe my favorite color without using colorful words.

Yeah…I'm the English teacher in this situation.  Clearly.

...and we're back!

Is there really an App for that?

Dear App Store,

You are always saying, "There's an app for that!"  However, I thought I'd send you a list of Apps that would be useful for people living abroad.

• Fruit and Vegetable Recognizing Software - The App would allow me to take a picture of some mystery produce item and my iPhone would then tell me what it is, what I can do with it, and how to wash it.  (Come to think of it, you might want to make a meat one as well…the snouts and feet help me detect what animal it was/is…but I'm still lost on figuring out the rest of the meat)
• Moon Cake Filling Detector - This would scan a moon cake and let me know what is inside before I bite into it.
• Skype Time Zone Reminder - This app would give me a pop-up reminder of the time/time zone of the person I am calling.  Sometimes I forget that the rest of the world is 14 hours behind me. (My brother just doesn't seem as talkative at 2:00 am.)

Please let me know if you would like more information regarding these ideas. 

Sincerely,
The American, who looks like a Russian, living in China

We are Fickle

Morning dawns with promise
We rise to meet the day
Your face comes before us
Our morning activities push it out
     We plan
     We plot
     We begin
MidDay comes with relief
We sit to rest
Your face comes before us
Our afternoon activities sweep it away
     We plan
     We plot
     We resume
Evening comes with sun's setting
We seek food and fellowship
Your face comes before us
Our festivities push it to the corner
     We plan
     We plot
     We feast
Night comes with sigh of completion
We seek rest from our weariness
Your face comes before us
Our unfaithfulness cowers before You
     We plan - You wait
     We plot - You know
     We forget - You remember

Courageous

On the flight from Chiang Mai to Seoul I watched the movie "Courageous." I recommend. 

Anyway, there is scene that had me laughing so hard that I had tears rolling down my face.  A kind hearted Hispanic man was, by sheer coincidence, placed in the back of a police car with a young gangster.  To protect him from the real gangster, the cops said he was the member of a (imaginary) vicious gang. 

Not knowing what to do, he told the kid his upcoming lunch order...in Spanish...in a menacing voice.  The kid, not understanding a word, starts freaking out. He was terrified for his life, and the guy was only talking about his chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and lemonade.  Hilarious - really.

Then I thought more about it.  I think the future is often like the kind man talking about his upcoming trip to Chick-fil-A.  The problem with the future is that the past is a vicious gang of memories. The future speaks a language we can't understand...and through the filter of past mistakes, we hear menace...and we fear.

But what if, all the future is talking about, is an upcoming trip to Chick-fil-A.
...I want to go to Chick-fil-A...

Blue Skies

During our conference, I caught up with several new teachers scattered throughout China.  As we talked about our cities and schools one conversation kept reoccurring.  I thought I'd share it with you.

Person A: What city are you in again?
Person B: [Insert city name]
Person A: Oh yeah!  How do you like it?
Person B: Well, we only get about 2 days of blue skies, but its not too bad.
Person A: Oh that's sad!  We can usually see blue skies 4 times a week!
   (Yes, we monitor our city's pollution by the # of blue sky days)
Person B: Yeah, but do you have cheese in your city?
Person A: No!
Person B: We do...Cheddar and Gouda.
Person A: WOW!!  You are so lucky!

Rinse and Repeat.

Ummm...I think I may have forgotten how to start small talk in the States.

Open Hands

When I first thought about coming to China I was worried about all I would be giving up.  I would be giving up my home, a job I love, my fellowship, language, family, security, culture, and the ability to flush my toilet paper.  All of these things tempted me to stay right where I was...but China kept calling.

So I gave it up.  My fingers were pried off all that I held dear in the States and I went.

Once my white-knuckled grip was broken, my hands remained open to receive all the amazing things He had in store for me.  When what you know is taken away, your ability to enjoy the other things in life intensifies.  It is almost as if my sight was taken so I could discover the beautiful symphony around me.

Here in Thailand I can't help but give thanks...for so many reasons.  My verbal filter is gone and I can share my thoughts without worry.  I am surrounded by so many people who fluently speak my native language. Both fahrenheit and celsius are well into the positive.  Bathrooms have toilet paper AND soap.  People smile and laugh.  The fresh fruit, Thai coffee, and amazing food fills my whole being with joy.  I often burst out with, "Oh taste and see that He is good!" After months in Harbin, my awe and excitement bubbles up over these seemingly small things.

However, if I had clung to my security at home I would never have opened my hands wide enough to receive all His blessings.  Once I shed my shoddy sense of security, He showered me with joys beyond compare.

"You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over.  Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life." Oh my hands are open!