Hedging and Regrets

1st Part of Today's Sophomore Lesson: Hedging

You should use hedging in the English language if you would like to remove yourself from your statement.  Hedging uses words like perhaps, it would seem, or possibly.

Me: Boys, you might want to use hedging if your girlfriend ever says, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Charles: *shouts a phrase in Chinese* which roughly translated means, "Maybe this dish isn't so delicious."
Class: Hilarious laughter
Me: No!!  Don't say that!  You could say something like, "Perhaps that dress does not show how truly beautiful you really are!"
Keith: *slaps Charles* See! I told you we need to listen in class!  We need to know this stuff!!

2nd Part of Today's Sophomore Lesson: Wishes and Regrets
(aka language to use when you didn't use hedging)

Challenges

I am an ENTJ, which is the smallest percentage of personality type.  So yes, it has been confirmed.  I am odd.  Moving on…

"ENTJs love, and are energized by stimulating interactions with people.  They often challenge people's statements and behaviors, expecting that others will defend them and that, as a result, mutual learning takes place.  ENTJs admire and seek out people who are knowledgeable and who stand up to them, say what they think, and argue persuasively."*  I couldn't agree more!  I am a bit more cautious these days, but this statement resonates to the core of my being.

My brothers challenge me…and I LOVE it.  They have pushed me to do things I would have never thought possible, and I have become a stronger person for it (a bit more bruised perhaps, but stronger).

Challenges Presented Over the Years:
   * Learn to Water Ski
   * Ski down a Black Diamond before you learn on the Bunny Slope                                        (because apparently no sister of Chris Talcott is allowed on the Bunny Slope)
   * Work at a camp in New Hampshire
   * Learn to play the guitar (still working on this one)
   * Go Skydiving
   * Run a Mini-Marathon
   * Travel to Europe
   * Move overseas
   * …never accept mediocre

I don't know if you are like me, but I tend to stockpile friends who push me and challenge me.  This leads me to my question, "Who is challenging you?"

*Introduction to Type by Isabel Briggs Myers

Rolodex of Answers

Remember when we used a Rolodex to store important information?  Well, I still have a mental Rolodex, and it stores answers to questions I have been asked.

Q: Miss Lizzie, do you want to marry a Chinese man?
For the correct answer(s), spin to the "Date a Chinese man" section of the Answer Rolodex.  Wow!  There are three cards in this section!
1. Well, he would have to talk to my father!
2.  I don't think I'll get married until my older brothers get married.
3.  Maybe I should learn Chinese before I think about that.

Q: Miss Lizzie, can you use chopsticks?
*Spin to the Chopsticks section*
1. I learned back in America.
2. I sure hope so, otherwise I'd starve!
3. We should have dinner so you can see my chopsticks skills! (Best answer)

Q: Miss Lizzie, do you like Chinese Food?
*Spin to the Chinese Food section*
1. I love Chinese food!
2. I love Chinese Chinese food...American Chinese food is just not that good!
3. I love Chinese food...do you?
4. I love Chinese food...do you want to go get some?

Q: Miss Lizzie, can you advise me on how to live in a love triangle?
*Spin to the...the ummm...dating section*  Nope
*Spin to the love section* Nope
*Spin to the No Answer section*
Only card available: "Class, how would you answer that in English?"

The Widow's Oil

Chocolate Chip Joy

So I'm not a widow and I am definitely not running out of oil but, once again, my circumstances remind me of the Widow's Oil.

You see, I'm not really a hoarder.  I usually love to give and share with other people.  BUT…In China, I have tightened my grip on a few things, namely Crisco and Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chips.

The Talcott Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe calls for Crisco, butter, and Chocolate Chips.  You can get butter in Harbin, but Crisco and Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate chips are US only.  If you want to make Chocolate Chip Cookies, you generally chop up a candy bar and you use a recipe that doesn't require Crisco.

This past weekend, I invited my Freshman over to make green snicker doodles for St. Patty's Day.  When they got to my house they pleaded with me to make Chocolate Chip cookies as well.  I realized that I didn't have a chocolate bar or the other recipe ready.  But, I had been hoarding a bag of Tollhouse Chocolate Chips with just enough Crisco for one last, special round of cookies.  So, with a pang in my heart, I brought out my hoarded ingredients and baked the cookies with them.  The girls literally danced with joy.

He then reminded me that He knows me, inside and out.  He even knows my childish way of clinging to Crisco and Chocolate Chips for security and comfort. 
For you see, today I received an unexpected package from the states.  And you guessed it, a new bag of Chocolate Chips rested on top.  I almost cried when I saw those beautiful morsels of happiness...tears of joy and tears because I had once again doubted His goodness. 

Deep in my soul, I know I can trust Him with my future AND my chocolate chips.  It's in remembering to trust Him that I so often fail.

Help my unbelief...

Hi Pot, This is Kettle...

Luck…yeah, Americans don't believe in luck.

Uh huh.  Keep telling yourself that. 

For this week's Sophomore attendance question I asked, "Do you believe in luck?" Fully expecting to get a range of answers and maybe some discussion, I only received a resounding yes.  Some even laughed at my audacity to ask the question.  Like there could be any answer but yes…apparently.

Moving on…I asked them to tell me what they did to ensure good luck. (aka What do you do before a big exam?) 

   * Eat a hot dog and 2 eggs (It looks like 100 - perfect score)
   * Wear red
   * Wear Nike (The swoosh looks like a check-mark for a correct answer)
   * Stop showering (She was worried the answers would wash away.)
   * Stand a pillow upright and cut it (I can't remember the "why" behind this one.)
   * Pray

However, I also made a list of things we might do in the US.

   * Knock on wood if someone talks about something bad
   * Throw salt over your shoulder
   * Not walk under ladders
   * Wear a "lucky" article of clothing (I wear the same shirt for all the races I run)
   * Rub someone's bald head (Basketball players everywhere are nodding to this one)
   * Pray

The difference: One culture admits their use of the crutch called luck and the other secretly embraces it. 
The unique similarity: We, if we are honest, often treat prayer like a good luck charm.

"Hi Pot, This is Kettle.  I thought I'd wear black for good luck this week."

Powerless

I had never truly felt powerless until I moved to China.  I always believed that with enough hard work, logic, and persistence I could conquer just about anything. (Yes, I am the daughter of engineers)  However, those days are past.  No matter how hard I work, how much logic I apply, and how long I try…there are some things I just can't do.

A Few Examples Come to Mind:
Crowded buses with frosted windows and broken PA systems = Lost
Large crowds yelling in Chinese = Overwhelmed
Watching a student struggle to communicate but unable to find the words = Helpless
Desiring change for my students = Powerless

But…in this crazy world, where I can control so little, I have discovered a beautiful truth.

I never was in control.  I have always been…powerless.

As I realize my own inadequacy these words resonate in my heart,
"He gives strength to the powerless…"
Therefore, I will live each day knowing, "When I am weak, then He is strong."

Falling for him...

This week's topic for Freshman English: Dating 
I opened the class with a dating story from my own experience...

At my college during Alumni Week, we had something called GYROFAD night. (Get Your Roommate or Friend a Date)  I did not normally participate in these things, but due to a scheduling conflict I was called in last minute to replace a girl on my floor for a double date.  To protect the innocent I've changed the names, so we will say that Julie and I were going on a date with Chris and Tom. 

Chris and Tom took us out for a nice dinner and then, in typical Chicago fashion, we went for a stroll along Navy Pier.  (Now, I won't lie, the date was going pretty good up to this point.  The men were nice, polite, excellent conversationalists, and good looking.  What more could a girl ask for?)  Navy Pier twinkled against the dark Chicago sky casting a soft light on the path as we strolled along with conversation easily flowing around us.  I, of course, gave unwavering attention to Tom as he eloquently shared a delightful story with me.

(This is where the story ceases to be a good dating story and becomes a "what in the world did Lizzie do this time" story.)

Paying close attention to Tom, led me to not pay close attention to the dimly lit path.  This dimly lit path happened to have a clearly marked construction hole.  So, we were walking and talking and then...I fell.  Not for him, but into the construction hole.  Yes, I did.  It was about knee deep which was just deep enough to leave me uninjured but completely humiliated.  Tom rushed to help me up and checked several times to ensure that I wasn't harmed.  Fortunately, my pride is on the inside so he couldn't see the cavernous wound it received.  We then spent the rest of the walk sharing embarrassing and funny stories.  Lucky for me, I had just added another to my long list and was able to regale them with many more events such as this one.

Moral of the story: Some women fall for attractive men…I just fall in front of them.

Madness

What is something someone has done for you that might appear like madness to others, but not to you? 

This question appeared as a challenge on Amy's blog.  Go to The Messy Middle to read the original story.  I loved the challenge so much that I brought my story back to my blog.

I ran my first mini-marathon in 2009. My brother had encouraged me to do it, and I knew it would be a good challenge. However, I never went over 7 miles in my training. Knowing me…I didn’t want to waste a good entrance fee so I decided to run it anyway.
My brother, Chris, came to cheer me on and I saw him at three points along the way.

Point 1 – I was confident
Point 2 – I was in pain
Point 3 – I was .5 miles away from the finish line and unsure if I could keep going

Seeing my pain, he didn’t hesitate. In his jeans and sweatshirt, he jumped across the line, joined the crowd and ran with me for the next quarter of a mile. He looked crazy…I know people thought he was mad…but I didn’t care. Without his voice saying, “You can do it. Just take another step, and another, and another” I wouldn’t have finished. His madness led me to one of my greatest victories.

What about you? What is something someone has done for you that might appear like madness to others, but not to you?

Today's Freshman Lesson: Friends

On the chalkboard I wrote "Characteristics of a Good Friend."  The students then came up with adjectives to describe their best friend:

Kind, patient, giving, caring, warm-hearted, honest, compassionate, respectful, thoughtful, gentle, unselfish, humble etc.

With the list of adjectives, each student excitedly bragged about their best friend to their partner.  Afterwards I asked, "Now, are you all of these things to your best friend?" Silence...their shocked faces displayed their thoughts loud and clear.  Did I really expect them to be all of those things?!?
But, how could I expect them to be what I was not?  Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked at the list, for my best friend truly was and I was not.

Today's Life Lesson: Friends...Be unto others as you would have them be unto you…

I really do have the best best friend.

5 Activities that Make You Happy

Each morning, I receive an email that challenges me to do something small to improve my physical, mental, and/or emotional well being.  Today's challenge: Write down Five Activities that Make You Happy. At some point this week, I'm supposed to complete at least one of the five activities.  I won't bore you with all the mundane workings of my happy meter, but my 5th option seemed just a bit odd.

5. Figuring something out so that I can help someone.

Today, I checked quite a few things off my "beginning of the semester to-do list."  Check, Check, Check!  I then rewarded myself by watching The Blind Side.  As I watched the amazing compassion of Mrs. Tuohy and the incredible persistence of his tutor, Miss Sue, I marveled at their courage and honor.  My happiness meter registered a full tank as I watched these women invest in Michael's life and make a difference.  BUT…a nagging feeling kept bubbling up inside because I felt that I was forgetting someone.  That someone…was the science teacher.  Do you remember her?  She was the first to verbally give the tests to Michael.  Throughout the movie you see her challenging her fellow teachers to look at Michael in a different light.  She met him where he was and she worked with him…in a unique way, but in the way he needed.

She…Figured something out so that she could help someone. 

As I struggle, muddle, and fuddle my way through my first year of teaching I often get discouraged.  BUT, maybe teaching isn't so different from what I already love doing. 
Maybe teaching is...
Figuring something out, aka figuring out what my students need, figuring out where they are, figuring out how I can encourage them, figuring out how they learn…
So that, I can help someone.

Teaching…One of the Five Activities that Make Me Happy...I'll do that this week.

Driving Around the Rules

The State Administration of something or another recently cleared out all the little shops, shacks, and vendors along the road outside our school.  While it did make the place cleaner, safer, and more sanitary…it left us without a place to buy our fruits and vegetables.  *sigh*

However, the major fruit vendor has found a way to bend the rules…or should I say, drive around the rules.  The police monitor the roads until 4:00pm to ensure that everyone is complying with the new sanitation rules.  Then, around 4:01pm the fruit vendor drives his now-mobile fruit stand to the corner, puts down some stilts, and opens for business.

Do the police know about this?  Absolutely.
Do the people know about this? Absolutely.
Am I happy about this? Absolutely.

Win-Win-Win

Fruit Mobile